Tanpa kesan. Mungkin itu dua kata yang paling bisa menggambarkan ramadhan dan lebaran tahun ini. Enggak tau kenapa saya tak mendapatkan 'feel' yang biasa orang-orang rasakan di bulan ramadhan. Dan bahkan ketika sudah berakhir, excitement menyambut lebaranpun sama sekali enggak ada.
These past few a weeks, I have been walking on a path where no one wouldn't expect to walk on. I have been so much breaking downs. Semakin sering bangun tengah malam dan menangis tanpa alasan yang jelas. Yeah, call me a weak! I don't care. Coz that's the fact. I have been in those moments where I feel like in a gigantic loneliness. I have been in those moments where I feel like no one realy care about me.
Sempat terlintas saya ingin amnesia. Memang bukan merupakan satu-satunya solusi, bukan juga bermaksud menentang ketetapan-Nya, tapi seandainya itu bisa terjadi... mungkin akan jauh terasa lebih mudah, karena yang saya rasakan saat ini sangat sulit untuk merubah segala sesuatu yang sudah terlanjur berjalan. I don't know what is happening with me.
You could never imagine how I was. Even until now, I still can't set myself to be whole again. Semua berasa berat banget. And I dare to say, that was a hardest ramadhan ever. Too many sorrow as my companion.
But you know what, saya bersyukur sudah diberi kesempatan melewati masa-masa seperti itu. Somehow it strengthened me. Walaupun sekarang belum benar-benar 'pulih', but I'm sure I will really soon. All I need is support, though I don't know where to get it other than Allah. I need to be back soon. Back to how I was.
Okey, this posting is getting... cengeng!! *mengingatkan saya dengan seorang yang mengatakan bahwa saya terlalu lemah* Sorry if you sick with this post, but I really don't know where to run. I must gonna stop now.
And finally, selamat lebaran semua. Minal aidin wal faizin, mohon maaf lahir dan bathin. Oke, see you...! dan saya masih ingin hilang ingatan.............. at least for a while.
These past few a weeks, I have been walking on a path where no one wouldn't expect to walk on. I have been so much breaking downs. Semakin sering bangun tengah malam dan menangis tanpa alasan yang jelas. Yeah, call me a weak! I don't care. Coz that's the fact. I have been in those moments where I feel like in a gigantic loneliness. I have been in those moments where I feel like no one realy care about me.
Sempat terlintas saya ingin amnesia. Memang bukan merupakan satu-satunya solusi, bukan juga bermaksud menentang ketetapan-Nya, tapi seandainya itu bisa terjadi... mungkin akan jauh terasa lebih mudah, karena yang saya rasakan saat ini sangat sulit untuk merubah segala sesuatu yang sudah terlanjur berjalan. I don't know what is happening with me.
You could never imagine how I was. Even until now, I still can't set myself to be whole again. Semua berasa berat banget. And I dare to say, that was a hardest ramadhan ever. Too many sorrow as my companion.
But you know what, saya bersyukur sudah diberi kesempatan melewati masa-masa seperti itu. Somehow it strengthened me. Walaupun sekarang belum benar-benar 'pulih', but I'm sure I will really soon. All I need is support, though I don't know where to get it other than Allah. I need to be back soon. Back to how I was.
Okey, this posting is getting... cengeng!! *mengingatkan saya dengan seorang yang mengatakan bahwa saya terlalu lemah* Sorry if you sick with this post, but I really don't know where to run. I must gonna stop now.
And finally, selamat lebaran semua. Minal aidin wal faizin, mohon maaf lahir dan bathin. Oke, see you...! dan saya masih ingin hilang ingatan.............. at least for a while.
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